I hate Peyton Manning
I hate the prevent defense
I hate it when the Broncos lose games they should win
So, I'm sure you have heard of the six word story, right? If not use the internets to access the google and look up "six word story Hemingway" and i'm sure you will find something about it.
He wanted some
but got none.
Thank you thankyouverymuch.
Have I told you about theold man who sits in the lobby of my apartment building sometimes? He likes to ask me tchnical questions he reads in magazines or newspapers.
Well, he gave me some peppers a while ago. They were good. But now it seems he wants to give me jalapeno peppers all the time. he says its in exchange for this technical advice I give - you know, answering some of his questions.
i just didn't have the heart to tell him today that I already had a bag of jalapeno peppers. Maybe I'll make chipotle sauce out of them...
I have my coffee delivered by Peet's Coffee & Tea. Sure I pay too much for my coffee but it's mostly in the shipping. Peets does a nice thing with the shipping.
See, they keep track of what I spend on shipping and give me a discount based on that at the end of the year. Which is cool.
They also send out a gift each each year to people who subscribe. Last year it was an extra half pound of coffee. I was not impressed.
But this year, it was a sleek little coffe travel mug. It made me happy.
I guess it is all the rage. i haven't seen it but the BBC reports taht snorting vodka may be a new trend.
i hope it doesn't catch on in my circle because my nose is sesitive enough with out vodka going up it.
So, today for lunch i go home and throw some vegan meat strips in the pan and turn on the heat and then head to my computer to write an email toa buddy i hadn't chatted with in a while.
While I was getting the correct number of maternal sodemy jokes inserted into the email, i hear the meat sizzle. i don't think much of it because that iswhat it does.
Then the smoke alarm goes off.
i turn around to see smoke billowing out of the kitchen-like area of my place. Seems instead of putting the pan on medium low heat I put it on high heat.
And now I hear sirens ...
Erika: So, are there any women in your life?
Brad: No, and that is one reason that I drank too much last night.
Erika: I remember you drinking too much when there was a woman in your life.
Brad: Damned if I do, damed if I don't.
Advice. I've gotten quit a bit lately. not that I'm adverse to advice - in fact, I ask for it often. Sure, I give out my fair share of advice but lately i'm not so sure of the advice I'm getting.
Last night a friend told me to stop chasing young women around and find someone to settle down with. Now, that is obviously poor advice.
Hereis some advice from a buddy of mine:
It almost reminds me of when Conrad Hilton, hotelier extraordinaire, was asked on national television if he had one vital bit of advice for listeners. He said, "Please, place the curtain on the INSIDE of the tub."
So, as I was drinking on Tuesday night I had conversation with a guy I had just met. it went like this:
Guy: So, you are a boob man.
Brad: While i realy do enjoy boobs, i would say that I am an ass man.
Guy: No, you must be a boob man becaus--
Brad - interupts and goes on a 2-3 minute spree of dialog that explains why I love the femal behind and what type I perfer and why I prefer it. I used as much fervor and lines from nike ads as i could think of as to why and then he interupted me with a laugh.
Guy: no, no, I said that because this really nice ass just walked by and every guy in the bar watched it go by but you.
Brad: What?? Where?? When?? How could *I* miss that???
I'm pretty sure this strip is already showing up in offices above the coffee pot all around the world. But that second panel struck me true and I realized I may totally agree with Wally.
So, I met some people for some drinks last night.
Hmmm, not all of them seem excited to see me show up. But I got to have a few drinks with the other security guys from work.
It was Bree's birthday.
She drank a bit.
My boss bought me a drink last night too.
But he may have had reasons to be in a good mood.
Johanna Dray is considered a Plus Size model?
This cannot be a plus size model.
This just looks like a good looking woman.
But she cannot get modeling work because she is considered "plus size".
yes, maybe it is time to start thinking about calandars for next year but may I suggest one to avoid?
The dog poo fo the month calandar, to me, seems like one to avoid. but it sure would make a great gag gift wouldn't it >
Last night, as I was walking home, I was about 1/4 the way into a block when this girl told me that I was her boyfriend. I said OK. Then she asked me my name and told me hers.
We walked arm and arm for another block and a half and then she left me for a guy who had an extra slice of pizza. She didn't even say goodbye.
It wouldn't of worked out anyway. She flirted with almost every guy she saw while we were together. And her friend was kinda bitchy also.
I dislike it when some writer gives his list of X best teams or ranks all the teams in a sport from best to worst and calls them Power Rankings. Didn't Power ranking used to be based on some sort of mathmatical formula? What happened? When did the math disapear and the opinion replace it?
Sportswriters, stop calling them power rankings if they are just your rankings - call them rankings.
When I remember my dreams [and I don't remember them often] they are usually really boring mundane things like walking to work or cooking food. But last night I was woken by an odd dream.
I was dreaming that I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep [yes, mundane] but i wasn't in my normal bed. Somewhere else. I could see a light from under the door to this room. i heard someone walk down the hall and then the light under the door was muddled as if someone was outside the door.
i go to the door and look under it to see whos feet are outside the door. Instead I see the face of someone i haven't seen in a while looking back at me. I get up and open the door and just get a smile and the same old I hope you can read my mind stare.
Then I wake up. Odd that dream.
For those doing internet searches for quatorziens and finding my blog, I'm always up for being the 14th person in your party of 13. just let me know.
THE ANSWER: Until he gets caught
THE QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve?