Running on Empty

Morning Optimistic

I'm so much more optimistic in the morning. yes, I am not a morning person so that may seem odd. But for some reason I feel like all obstacles can be overcome in the morning.

Of course, by the evening, I think I am more of a realist and just want a beer.

New Yorkers Are Nice

See, here is proof that the people of NewYork City are nice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi4ClspNrNs&feature=player_embedded

Study: Kissing Boosts Women's Immunity

Worried about the swine flu? Are you a woman? have you always wanted to kiss Brad? Of course you have.

Being the kind and gentle and caring man that I am, I offer to help out your immune system with a bit of kissing.

Movenber on My Mind

I know that it is still 6 weeks until Movenber. But I've been waking up lately thinking about what type of mo I am going to grow.

A quick google images search of mos has me wondering. I don't think i want to go all big and long but I don' want to look like a 70s bad cop with a short one.

Oh, if only I had the lip to try and pull off a Tom Selleck or a Sam Elliott.

Green Olives and Peanutbutter

What do green olives stuffed with jalapeno peppers have in common with peanut butter?

There are multiple jars of them at my place. It seems my mom thinks that i go through a jar of peanut butter and a jar of olives each week because she buys a jar of each for me each week.

I should have a martini party just to get rid of the olives.

Sports Media Frenzy

"Is it possible for the rose to say, 'I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?' Or is it possible for the lamp to say, 'I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people'? Or can a tree say, 'I'll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad'? These are images of what love is about."
-- Anthony De Mello

I'm not the most religious person in the world and I have been known to hold a grudge but I do believe in second chances and I hope Micheal Vick makes the most out of his second chance. But I am sure the Pitino and Vick are happy about Brett Favre joining the Vikings to pull some of sports media frenzy away from them.

He Is ...

I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately ... wanna hear about my dream?

Coffee to Go

I leave on a one week trip tomorrow. Do I bring my own coffee with me? Or do I hope the hotels and local coffee shops will meet my needs?

I haven't packed a single thing but it seems I am more worried about packing coffee than anything else.

Pressing Day

Is it a waste of my day off if I watch youtube videos about making coffee via a press pot all day?

At My Funeral

Would it be wrong to fake my own funeral? Of course it would be. But i woudl be curious as to what people would say. Who would show up? Who would NOT show up? Would there be a two drink minimum?

In High Fedelity Rob says, "Songs at my funeral: Many Rivers to Cross by Jimmy Cliff, Angel by Aretha Franklin, and I've always had this fantasy that some beautiful, tearful woman would insist on You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me by Gladys Knight. But who would that woman be?" But I would have to go with tearjerkers like Amazing Grace and the like. Gotta get some tearage. Don't want too much of the "celebrate his life" stuff. Although, Pakes [who would show up, damn it!] would probably tell some pretty good bar stories that surely would get some laughs.

Hmmm, what would you say about me at my funeral?

More And Less

If I had less bills to pay and more beer in my fridge, my lilfe would be pretty sweet right now.

911 Is A Joke

While I was working Sunday, two very intoxicated men came into the store asking for directions to the local tire store. Despite their insistence, I knew of no tire store nearby. These guys can barely stand. They are incredibly drunk.

I watched them leave and then head out to their car in the parking lot that had a flat tire. After a bit of stumbling around, they seem to realize that there is a spare tire in the trunk of their car. This is when i call the local police to tell them about a couple of drunks [who are still drinking BTW] changing the tire on their car with the intent of leaving.

Fort Collins is not that big. One can drive from one end to the other is 20 minutes. Maybe 30 if traffic is rough. More than an hour later, these drunks are no longer in the parking lot. I had watched them while I wasn't working and they were having a lot of trouble figuring out how to work the jack.

An hour ofter I called, they were still working on the tire and still drinking and still stumbling around. The police? No where to be seen. In fact, I did not see any police the whole day.

What a joke. The Fort Collins Police suck.

HBD Bikini

I think today is the bikini swimsuit's birthday. Haaaaappy birthday!

iHot In The iSummer

Oh, it's not the new iPhone 3Gs that is the problem, it's the weather. And all these people with discolored and too hot to touch your face iPhones thought it was the phone over-heating.

My phone does get hot when it is accessing the word a lot. When I'm surfing the web and downloading apps and have the bluetooth on at the same time, the bottom inch or so of the phone gets warm. Also, when plugged in to charge, it will get warm in the same area when I'm surfing the web. But nothing as hot as some of these reports.

So hot that the white case is discoloring? That is hot. Now, the reports that iPhones are getting so hot one cannot place them next to one's face, seemed like it might be an exaggeration. But if temperatures are getting to the point that cases are warping and bubbling and discoloring, I wouldn't want that next to my face either.

The fact that the phone has an overheat warning makes me realize that apple knew this would be an issue. Which totally sounds like a Dilbert cartoon – "Our product is hurting out consumers." "Make it a feature." – and not like apple. Steve Jobs must have been out of the office when that issue came up.

Which which

Hmmm, lettuce sandwich or peanut butter sandwich?

I guess it is time to go grocery shopping.

Reverse Over The Head ... er, Neat Shot

So, Phil's California is a bit to much in this video and it is an ad for one of his DVDs [the guy only made around 50 million last year, so, he needs to sell them] and shot is shot but ... wow, what a neat shot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PslA4WcSos&feature=player_embedded

Foxy But Not On Fire

The latest version of Firefox was made available today. Firefox 3.5. I should be excited as it boasts faster speeds. When Safari released its latest version, I was impressed by its speed. It seemed fast even on my slow internet connection. I really wanted to use it. But the add-ons of Firefox kept me there. I just love Firefox.

Well, I'm not that excited about the so called faster Firefox because it seems to load up my web pages at the same speeds and the sample video on "Here's what is new" webpage took a while to load up. And the sad news is that not all my add-ons are compatible with Firefox 3.5.

The one I am missing the most right now is Coffee Cup. With one click it would load up a bunch of web pages I wanted to read that day. And i can program it to load up different websites depending on the day of the week. So, on Monda, Tuesday, and Firday it will load up in one of many tabs XKCD.com and not load it up on days it doesn't update - like Tuesdays and Thrusdays - which really is how I keep track of what day of the week it is

If you are a Firefox fan, download the latest version and tell me if you see some improvements.

Flash Me

I remember people complaining that when apple claimed that their iPhone browser gave the full web experience, it was a lie because it didn't offer Flash. In fact, in the UK a few iPhone ads were taken off the air because of this - truth in advertising and all.

Since, I keep hearing complaints about the lack of Flash on smartphone webbrowsers. Well, yesterday Adobe announced that Flash would be coming to smartphones. Exciting stuff, right? I've heard some technical mumbo-jumbo as to why Flash will not be headed to the iPhone.

So, i figure I will patiently wait for flash - it's not like there is any main website I go to that has flash and really the flash players on sports sites I visit are kinda annoying as it is. And flash ads not shoing up isn't really a problem, if you catch my drift.

But then today, it was announced that Flash isn't just coming, it is here on the latest HTC phone HERO. HERO is the latest phone running Android OS. It runs the current v1.5 software but has a UI integrated [which is really a bunch of widgets] and it looks slick so people are exciteed about it.

Will i jump ship for a new phone because of this? No, of course not. But I will wait with a bit more anticipation for Flash to be reaching my phone.

Killing Someone With Your Car < Stealing A Bike?

Man who stole rare bike belonging to Lance Armstrong receives three years in prison, or 1,065 more days than Donte Stallworth.

It's not about the crime. It is about the lawyer.

iPhone On The Cheap?

I clicked a link this morning that showed a bit of irony in that one could get an iPhone cheaper by using Bing. Or is that "Bing!"?Anyway, it made me smile.

And what may be good news, it looks like the FCC is going to investigate phone manufacturers working out unique and exclusive deals with mobile phone providers. This can only be a good thing as being locked down to a certain provider can suck.

I Would Have Looked Down Her Dress

The "hottest woman in the world" snuggles up to you on the red carpet. Do you:
…
…
C. Act like you are on the cover of GQ and that someone may be paying attention to you.

Clean?

I cleaned my apartment today. It looks different clean.

I doubt it will last long but I will try.

Oh, MMS

Badda-what?

Of course, FOXNEWS has checked out bing.

My Android and Me

I think I may be spending too much time messing with my phone. I got the G1 running Android software a few weeks ago and am constantly serching the web for more tricks and apps and even wallpapers for the phone.

I've forced the latestest OS update - without hacking my phone (or rooting my phone as it is called - I did not root my phone!) - and I am pretty happy with it.

It doesn't do email as well as my blackberry did. And it's battery life is just awful - but not as bad as some reports (no one irl has shown that it has 1/3rd the life of the iPhone) - and I seem to obsess about the battery life ... a lot. I have three apps on my phone right now that help monitor and conserve battery life and am always looking for more. Since I work at a battery store, I have gotten a spare battery and now have a hi-capacity battery on order.

So much else I love about the phone. A bit too much maybe.What are the apps that I use the most and like? Well, let us be clear that the Android market is not as robust as iThe iPhone iStore iIs but it does have a lot of apps. I like chompsms for my texting. And K-9 for my mail. Twidroid for my twitter [yes, i said I wouldn't get a twitter app but I did and love it - props and runner up is twit2go].Shazam is magical - seriously - and available on most smart phones. And shopSavvy is entertaining. Where seems pretty darn good but has failed me a few times.

And do not get me started on my wallpaper apps. Storks and stupid seascapes is all you will hear about.

I Want To Find This Offensive

Send In The National Guard

Broncos = Idiots

Ah, the Broncos new regime is full of idiots it seems.

I dont' look forward to their top five pick that they willhave next year because of the cap hit it will inflict - but worse is the watching them win less than 4 games this year.

Stop! Hammer Time

Is it strange that I'm downloading both MC Hammer and The Beatles at the same time?

Go Get Her, Shaq

HorribleScope

Today, my horoscope read:

Today's challenges have to do with thoughts, ideas, paperwork and your sense of humor, which is into overdrive right now. Be careful with the jokes or wisecracks, because others may take you a little too seriously or personally at the moment.

Me? Wisecracks? Never.

Holy Small

I cannot wait until they are so small that they look like a grain of rice.

http://www.engadget.com/2009/03/11/apples-ipod-shuffle-hits-4gb/

Wild Chorizo Tamer is on the Resume

Yesterday was like this for me:

I like days like that.

Isisgross?

Is it gross when you find a piece of food that has been stuck to your face for over two hours?

Is it still gross if that food was delicious - after sitting on your face for two hours?

Happy Groundhog Day

Only six more weeks of winter!

Happy Groundhog Day

Only six more weeks of winter!

Happy Groundhog Day

Only six more weeks of winter!

Sad But True Bailout Story

Happy Hour

At my current job, I work past happy hour. It's a bit sad. I miss having a drink after work with a bunch of people I know.

Avoiding The Police

One night my friend John and I were sitting at a bar where he used to work, when an attractive woman, a former co-worker, came in and sat next to him. She told him she had just had a fight with her husband, a police officer, and needed to get out of the house for a while.

They had been talking for a few minutes when, as a joke, I leaned over to John. "Don't look now," I whispered, "but a guy about six-five just walked in. And he's got a gun."

Without hesitating, John turned to me. "Quick, Brad," he said, "kiss me on the mouth!"

What a Day

Odd and Ends of Sorts

I've collected some random thoughts lately and I thought I would share them with you:

• I like the big fat green olives but the real fat green olives with jalapeno peppers stuffed in them are really good. I've become a bit crazy with them. As I seem to eat some each day.

• I don't like rating a woman on how hot she is on the 1-10 scale. I would rather that we all start rating them on how far one would drive to be with said girl. And I'm not just talking drive all 1000 miles. I'm talking get off work drive to see said girl and then drive back to go to work the next day. That way there is a maximum amount of driving. Last time I suggested this system to a guy, he asked me why I would drive to see a girl. He obviously has lost his lust for life.

• I think if you like chai tea lattes, you should try one with soy milk. No, this isn't more of my vegan propaganda but rather that I think the soy milk makes the chai taste better. Try it, you'll like it.

• The back door of my apartment complex finally has a closing arm on it. you know the thingy that closes a door if someone doesn't try to close it? Well, after all my time here and making sure to close th door behind me, it is kinda weird to have the door closing on it's own and I'm sure anyone seeing me getting thrown around by the back door must get a laugh.

• If I am not wearing my work clothes, the guys I work with just do not recognize me.

• Yes, yes, pop tarts do go well with coffee in the morning but I think cherry pie goes with coffee better.

• Safeway's "Toasted Oats" are just not as good as cheerios.

• A Monroe piercing is placed off-center, above the upper lip and is meant to resemble a beauty spot; it is also known as a 'Madonna' or 'Crawford'.

• I did not enjoy Burn After Reading as I don't find Brad Pitt trying to be funny as funny. And John Malkovich has never ... inspired me. But George Clooney's character did make me laugh.

• I get paid on the 5th and the 20th. It's always just a bit too off for me. I have no idea why i am not paid on the 1st and 15th.

Now, wear are my olives ....

How Many Bras?

So, "they" say that American women on average own six bras. Really? I would think that Victoria Secrets would have gone out of business a long time ago if each women out there only owned 6 bras.

Bu this also made me realize that I have no idea how may bras women I know own. So, i thought I would try a survey.

But one cannot just send a txt message out to each woman one knows asking, "How many bras do you own?" It just looks a bit pervy.

So, i thought I would ask here and hope that I get enough answers. Please, let me know. Is this statistic off? Please, let me know.

now, don't count sports bras. Sports bras do not count in this statistic.

Nasty?

A guy checks into a hotel in Vegas on a business trip and
starts to feel a bit lonely so he decides to get a call girl.
So he picks up the phone and calls the number he got from the
cab driver.

"Hello?" the woman says.

"Hi, are you nasty? I want nasty. I want it hard and fast.
I'm talking kink all night. You name it we'll do it. Bring
equiptment, bring toys. You do me and I'll do you--all night.
Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in anything. How does
that sound?"

She says, "Umm, Sir? For an outside line you need to press 9."

Last Night's Sleep

Have you ever slept so good at night that when you wake up in the morning, you do not know where you are or what day it is?

That was last night for me.

WHEW! Look At That

I'm not always a big fan of having my picture taken. I've decided that from now on, when someone takes my photo, I'm going to do a bit of mugging. I've drawn inspiration from Bruce Willis of all people.

here is my first attempt:

So This Is 2009

Here are some things that I noticed recently that must be different because of the new year. Must be the new year:

• My netflix is suggesting Bollywood movies. Must be the new year.
• Yesterday was a day off for me and I shaved. I sooo rarely shave on my days off.Must be the new year.
• I sent an email to a very astute person. In this email i asked about an actress known for being in bikinis or naked. I had a link as well. Now, any astute person would realize that all links about this actress will not be safe for work. Right? I guess not. Must be the new year.
• I have always been able to hear my neighbors easily but it seems lately that i can hear them much more clearly. Must be the new year.

I'm sure that their is something else and I cannot wait to see what the rest of the new year has to offer.