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Saving Money at DecipherCon 2000 by Jedi Jawa of Borg So, you really want to go to DCon 2K, but you just can't spare that much money? What if you can cut down on the costs? Let's see if the Jedi Jawa of Borg can help! Travel Costs The easiest way to get there will probably be to fly. Most people would just get their tickets at priceline.com to save some cash, but that still costs too much. The cheapest way I can think of to get there would be to just hijack a plane. If you really need to get there at little or no cost at all, this is the way to go. If you are that desperate, you're probably a serious Trekkie or whatever they call SW fans (insert term of your choice here; my preference is Soul-less Abomination.) In that case, use that phaser rifle or lightsaber I'm sure you have to take over the plane. A fun way to do it is to envision yourself as Kavok (from A Klingon Challenge), taking over the Enterprise. Oh, that might not work: most Trekkies are better at acting then the guy in AKC. (IE, "I have a life outside of Trek! Really!") Just be prepared to face years in prison if you're caught, but it'll be worth those four glorious days at DCon. Food People have to eat, and so do (most of) us Trekkies. There are several good methods for acquiring cheap food at DCon. The first is to wait for someone to order a pizza, and when they aren't looking, snag a few slices. This can get hard though, especially if the above-mentioned Phaser/Lightsaber wielding players are the ones with the pizza. You know all of those crummy commons and uncommons (and even rares, like Jaglom Shrek, Zefram's Telescope, etc.) that always make it into prize support? Just eat a few of those after every tournament. So they won't give you much in the way of nutrients (is ink a vitamin?), but they're probably a good source of fiber, and should be enough to fill you up until the Con ends. And if you're really desperate, you can even try some of those Young Jedi demo decks that D just can't get rid of. Last of all for food is the Pillow Mint Strategy. This only works if you actually got a hotel room (see below). After the maid has cleaned your room for the day, go eat the little mint they leave on the pillow. Then, go down to the front desk and ask why she didn't leave one. They'll have another sent up; repeat fifty times per meal. Hotel Rooms Decipher is really good at choosing expensive hotels for hosting DCon. This doesn't make sense: they should know by now that we have no money left after buying expansions by the case. Many people will solve this problem by splitting a room (and cost) with a few fellow players, but I have a different solution: Don't get a room at all. Really, what will you need it for? I doubt most of us will sleep anyway, but there's always the couch down in the lobby. You can just lug your cards around in a big backpack - the curved spine from the bag's weight will be worth the money you saved on lodging. Of course, there's also the matter of showers, but if you start to, uhm, stink too badly, I'm sure your tournament opponent will gladly sacrifice ten minutes of game time to let you use his shower. So you don't like the idea of sleeping in the lobby? Let's refer back to the Pillow Mint Strategy for a moment. Go ahead and get a room, and use this strategy. Eventually they will catch on that you keep getting more mints this way. Make sure to bring it up in a crowded area (like the lobby, where people are checking in). Accuse the hotel (loudly, of course) of having a rodent problem, and say that it must be rats taking your mints! Rather than make a big deal out of it, they will offer you your room for free. Hesitate, and then accept the offer on the condition that they give you, er, the rats, a steady supply of Pillow Mints. Sealed Deck Tournaments This format is a lot of fun, but can quickly eat up what little money you have. So, try to find out which constructed deck tournaments are giving sealed packs as prizes. Play in one of those under an alias (John Doe works well), so as not to damage your real tournament rating, and make sure you come in dead last. To ensure coming in last, shout out Devidian Door every turn, even though you have none in your deck. Your sympathy prize should be enough to use in a sealed deck tournament (possibly in addition to your own Starter Deck 2 or OTSD premiums). In short, get creative to make it to DCon 2K. I personally am wondering if I could get away with charging $5 to everyone that reads this under the guise of "Money Management Advice." Hmm.. Well, that's all for now. I hope these tips help you save some latinum at DCon and other conventions this year. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know and I will be glad to update the article. And for the record, every time I said DCon, I did mean DecipherCon and not the bug spray D-Con. Jedi Jawa of Borg JawaOFborg@aol.com Disclaimer: This is a humor article! DO NOT take these suggestions seriously! - Ed