The Pendari Champion is a STCCG ambassador in Calgary, Alberta. He is not qualified to answer your questions. He does not have a Psychology Degree, but he does have a degree in relationships from the school of Hot Lovin' and once read Chicken Soup for the Card Gamer's soul. The views and opinions expressed by the Pendari Champion are in no way reflective of those of the WNOHGB, Decipher, Paramount Studios, the Pendari Champion, Dwayne Johnston (better known to the world as wrestling superstar "the Rock"), Gazi, a prostitute named Chi-chi, a spaniel named Geordie, Phil Collins, the Broadway Cast of Hair or really anyone.

       Dear Pendari Champion,
        I have this friend who goes around hitting of waitresses at Cuban Cafe's and Torontonian prostitutes. He doesn't do to bad of a job at it either, not that any of them ever went out with him. And I was wondering how to be more...oh I don't know...crazy. Because I on the other hand do care what other people think about me even if they are complete strangers, and I was wondering how to be more like him.
        Canadian Bacon

       Dear Canadian Bacon,
        It isn't wrong to be shy. It's also not wrong to be outgoing. Ask yourself: do people judge your friend harshly for his outgoing nature? If they don't judge him harshly for it, do you think they will think of you any differently if you were to behave in the same way? Probably not-especially since I've seen your friend and he is one ugly muttherf*****, and in comparison, you will look especially good. Take it in small steps though. Next time you are in a social situation where you see someone else acting like the person you want to be, ask yourself: how are people reacting to him? Ask yourself why does it matter to me how they react to me? Remind yourself that you are a complete person regardless of what strangers think of you. And buy yourself a pair of sunglasses where one lens is round and red, the other rectangular and green--I hear that helps.

        Dear Pendari Champion, I have friends who tell me there is a place "outside" of my room.  Apparently it is called "Real Life."  They tell me that it is bright and warm there, but I am skeptical, as they are the ones that told me that Holodeck Adventures would come out after Q-Continuum.  Are they telling the truth, or are they all lying bastards?  Please tell me the truth.  Also, if there is such a place as "outside" and the "Real World" how do I get there, and do you have any survival tips for it?? Thanks,Brak

       Dear Brak,
        Your friends are in fact correct. "Holodeck Adventures" will be coming out, and its release date is after that of "Q-continuum" (a long time after). "Real life" exists, and "outside" is for the most part a nice place to be. Try opening your "door" and "walking" outside. If you are unaware, the "door" is the rectangular aperture in the wall with dimensions of roughly 4 feet by 8. "Walking" is the act of repeatedly putting one foot in front of the other, alternating feet so that your body moves in a forward direction. In terms of survival tips: stay away from border guards.

       Dear Pendari Champion,
        Yo dogg, this is H-Dog from Winnipeg and I emailin you up cuz one of my boyz put ya in for a word. I white, bro and I like beein white ya know but my homies, Ivo sez I'm a wigger, f*** man I'm white and all but I grew up in tha crib and the ghetto is where I belong, they trippin on me dogg, y'know they f***in wack. but I says f*** dem, I can be as f***in black as I f***in please. Tell them bitch ass niggas that I be mo' black than they ever be. Black ain't no colour! It's a state of mind!
       "White Chocolate"

the Pendari Champion is unable to answer this. As such, he has gotten his assistant, Gazi to help.
       

       Dear White Chocolate,
        Naw fool, they right dogg. you messed stop tryin to act so ghetto, you aint! You a scrawnny white cocksucka that playz star trek cards! Now get with it you fucked up mother f***er. You aint black BRO! So get it through your head or you'll end up on Jerry Springa, you wannabe wigga. Black's a color. And Color aint got no muthhaf***ing U, Bitch.
 

       Dear Pendari Champion,
        I need a helping hand on this matter. My girlfriend (yeah, I have one) has quit playing Star Trek with me =( This makes me weary sad and lonely as I don't have anyone to look at during the tournaments (have a look around you next time and you'll see what I mean) and as I hold a lot of tournaments I rarely get to play any real competitive games. So this is a low period for me... How can I get her to play again without messing with her mind or just getting down on my knees and crying (this works, trust me on this).
       Youropean guy above the polar circle

       Dear Youropean guy,
        If she doesn't enjoy the game,  is there really any point in "getting her to play"? Ask her what she doesn't like about the game. Perhaps her answers will shed some insight on what she is looking for in her card gaming experience.  Overall, there must be many other things that the two of you both enjoy and relate to. Try and relate to one of the hobbies she has that you "just don't understand." Perhaps if she sees that you are willing to try and appreciate her interests, she will be more receptive to trying to see what you enjoy about STCCG.  If none of this works, you could also play in the tournaments you run-Decipher has changed it's policies to allow this you know?
 

       Dear Pendari Champion,
        I live on the Westside of Michigan and I went to the Open in Detroit. I played a man in round 3 and I beat him. Now ever since all he wants to do is have a rematch vs. me and I don't know what to do. I mean giving him a rematch sounds fair but he will probly thock me good for beating him last time. Do I give him the rematch or run and hide under a barrel?
       Confused on the Westsiiiiiiiiiide!

       Dear Confused on the Westsiiiiiiiiiide!
        I would recommend you stand up and accept that "thock" like a man-or more to the point, aim to give him a good boot to the head for his arrogance in believing he could go toe to toe with a member of team Westsiiiiiiiiiide! And escape unscathed. Regardless of who wins or loses, I'm sure it will be a great game.