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Hail to the King, Baby! [LotR]
by Earl S. Prusak and Kennith Stasiuk
Earl: Welcome to another Earl "Sparky" Prusak article and with me
as always is my associate and good friend Kennith "Cream" Stasiuk. Now
we’re here to talk a bit about this rumor of a new stand-alone Return of
the King.
Ken: It’s all a lie get out while you can. DOWN WITH COMMUNISM
Earl: Now Ken I didn’t want to use this sock full of quarters but
ya forced me
(15 minutes later with Ken good and subdued)
Earl: Anyway back to business. We both have read through and got a
solid option of this new set. Now we are here to give you “the public”
a better view of it. So Ken anything you want to say strait up.
Ken: Well I myself think that the fellowship side got the big ol'
shaft on this one. I mean come on, only two viable fellowship types
(Gondor and Rohan) will make Kings block pretty strait forward.
Earl: Good point, but lets get into it with a bit more in detail
and give these fine people the jist of it and let them know the Props
and the Slops. Starting with The One Ring...
Ken: TO RULE THEM ALL. But I digress we get the usual Ruling Ring,
and the new rare, “Such a Weight to Carry”. What do you think, Earl?
Earl: In my option SAWTC is the weakest of the three rares.
Ken: I agree. With Mr. Bubbles giving you both strength and
vitality but with a small price, and Isildure's Bane being a strong well
rounded ring, they kinda leave SAWTC in the dust, what with its lack of
versatility...
Earl: and huge vulnerability to twilight Nazgul. Although the
ability to take archery wounds on the ring does give it a small leg up
on Mr. Bubbles. I think I would probably stick with Isildure’s Bane or
Mr. Bubbles.
Ken: Not to shabby on the whole. The next faction is Dunland.
Earl: There is none. Plain and simple, just like I like it. But
Dwarves, wow, I mean they got some huge cards.
Ken: For once, they finally quit crapping on them. Two cards
really stand out, and one of them is a Companion!!!!
Earl: First of all the card “Calculated Risk” draws you three cards
for the low low price of two twilight and a threat. I mean, wow, that
kicks (explicative deleted)...
Ken: and right beside it is “Gimli, Feared Axeman”, protection for
Dwarf conditions is huge. DENIED Goblin Warrior!!!
Earl: Other Honorable mentions are “Preparations”, “Slaked Thirsts”, and
“Loyalty Unshaken”.
Ken: Now for our report on Elves our field corespondent Martin
Redmond with an exclusive with Arwen herself.
Martin: Uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And back to you Ken.
Ken: My sentiments exactly. As for the Elf cards, I find them to be
a huge yawn.
Earl: Absolutely Ken, it seen the only cards that have any use are
the cards with Arwen’s picture on it. Arwen herself, the new Asfaloth,
and “Shadow Between”.
Ken: Finally a Companion who is better in every way than its
fellowship counterpart. Man, I was waiting for that.
Earl: Her new horse gives her some counterpump, and “Shadow Between”
for some Elf healing and cycle.
Ken: Another good card is Elrond, but with so many better Ally
versions it kinda overpowers this new one. Look for new Elrond in Kings
block, though.
Earl: Gandalf is a kinda conundrum in the fact that a year ago they
tried to smash Trust to bits with cards like Grima, Orc Insurgent, and
Dunland to counterpump, and now they further strengthen it. Cards like
“Gandalf, Manager Of Wizards”, “Gandalf, Defender of the West”, “A Moment of
Respite”, and “Gandalf’s Staff”.
Ken: Manager of Wizards, sounds like a high up position in a comic
shop, ha! This Gandalf has a built in Servant. Though it can be
countered, don’t count it out. Some well-timed pump can rule a game.
Earl: Defender of the West is a lean mean strength nine fighting
machine.
Ken: “A Moment of Respite” to heal Gandalf and cycle your deck a bit
faster...
Earl: and his new staff for a bit more strength and vitality.
Ken: Gollum was a decent contribution to the game, with initiative
exploiting cards like “Let Her Deal With Them”, “Hobbitses Are Dead”, and
“Gollum, Plotting Deceiver”. Also, Gollum has the only stealth “Sneaking”,
and a decent threat engine in “Fat One Wants It”.
Earl: They keep wanting to stop Moria but keep giving them sweet
cards like Plotting Deceiver. Nothing like hand extension to ruin
someone’s day. Palathir is so going to be banned. Think about it: you
bomb them at a site, then Palathir their hand down to three or less.
Then you can go get Gollum from your discard pile and use Evil-Smelling
Fens to grab another minion. So now not only is Palathir providing
skirmish event protection but can secure you two more minions.
Ken: Woah.
Earl: Yes, Neo, it’s pretty tight. Just because Site Seven is gone
don’t count Moria out. Now, on to Gondor.
Ken: Yep, so pretty much two decks got the most of the good stuff
in this set, and those would be Knights and Ring-Bound Rangers. Knights
get a few things that could be interesting. First up, the Man himself,
Aragorn.
Earl: Yep. A newly appointed Knight, Aragorn can heal a Gondor man
at the beginning of the turn for two twilight. Not so shabby. Gondor gets
the new Haldir for this set, “Vorondil”, which is really tight. Seven
strength Companions for two twilight is always a good thing, plus throw
in a cool ability and he’s supreme. Too bad he isn’t a Knight, though.
Ken: Next on the list is the old man of Minas Tirith himself,
Denethor. The common version is decent, but it’s the rare version that bears
scrutiny. He’s eight strength for two twilight and plays all Knights for -2.
That’s sweet. Now the question is whether or not Denethor’s second
ability is a drawback. The way I see it is that you have to use it as a
strength. Denethor can single handily shut down burden decks, but
against decks that capitalize on threats Denethor becomes a liability.
This is where I would “forget” to heal him at Site Three.
Earl: Good call, Ken. Knights also get a few support cards that make
their lives easier. The “Strong and Old” makes all of your fortifications
cheaper, “Seventh Level” is a pumped up Stone Tower and “Gondor Bow” gives
your Knights +1 strength and lets you wound fortified minions.
Ken: Now the RingBound Rangers get a couple of things to help them
along. “Man the Walls” is a poorman’s Ancient Roads but is does have its
charms. The things that interest me the most would be 2nd and 3rd
Levels. I foresee many decks using three or four 2nd levels on the
minion skirmishing Frodo, and then canceling it with Curse Them. This
with the new teen-beat Pippin should pump up RBR deck significantly.
Earl: Dude, you forgot to mention the new sword.
Ken: Oh ya, Auduril. Is it better than previous versions? Well, the
question you have to ask yourself is “Do you need Aragorn’s Bow?”
Because if you don’t then the Flame of the West is the card for you.
Pathfinder, Saga of Elendil and Ranger Sword all rolled into one. Plus
it’s an artifact. All that is too good to pass up. If you like your
ranged weapons, then use the other version.
Earl: Next up is the Raiders. Last set they were almost good enough
to be a powerhouse, but were lacking that extra push to make them great.
Did they get the cards they needed, Ken?
Ken: Yes.
Earl: For instance?
Ken: Well, Easterling got crap for minions. Total crap. They did get
the two conditions that combat their two main weakness. Their
inefficiency at zero burdens and their weakness against RBR. First up is
“Small Hope”. Small Hope always lets you to exert an Easterling to add a
burden if you can spot less than 2 burdens. You can also sack the
condition for +2 strength. That’s really good for anyone using Frodo to
hide from your Easterlings. The second condition is “Surging Up”, which
states that you can sack it in the regroup phase to make the move limit
-1. Pretty sweet. The Free Peoples player can add two burdens to prevent
it. Sweeter. And you can sack the condition to heal an Easterling in the
skirmish phase. Not bad. Those make those yellow guys a little more
dangerous.
Earl: Let’s not forget Southron. Before, the only thing good about
them was that they can generate massive amounts of twilight outside the
shadow phase. But what good was it? Now they have some neat things to
spend (or not to) it on. First up is the “Southron Conqueror” and “Southron Intruder”.
Both pump up your Southrons if you can spot massive amounts of twilight.
The Intruder gives strength increases and the Conqueror gives damage
bonuses. Ouch. At the regroup phase, if you still spot two of your men
you can spend seven twilight to discard a Companion (except the Ringbearer).
“Fierce in Despair” is quite the killer.
Ken: Southrons can also add threats the easiest, “War Towers” adds a
threat and then an extra for every person over four. Nice. Plus they can
do some neat things with the threats. Not as harsh as Sauron but still
good.
Earl: Speaking of Threats, let’s talk about Nazgul shall we?
Ken: Let’s, so we finally got a new set of Nine Nazgul, but are
they as good as there previous versions?
Earl: Well, yes and no. For more on this, here is our in-house
professor of Nazgul, Tom Unrau.
Tom: Thanks, Earl. Well, the Nazgul in this set are really hit and
miss. Here’s my take on them.
These are the Good Nazgul:
Attëa: Nazgul that add Burdens are always good.
Lemenya (Rare): Not that it was hard to beat out the crappier
versions, but this guy just screams to be used to the new Morgul Orcs.
He gets dangerous when they are in play.
Toldëa: He plays for free in you have initiative. Nuff said.
Witch-king: Remove a threat to grab any Ringwraith card. He can get
you any card you need: Pale Blade, Ferny, Relentless Charge. Well, you
get the idea. He continues the tradition of Killer Kings.
These are Not So Good:
Cantëa: Horribly inefficient. You need two threats and another
Nazgul to do the same thing the original did. Pass.
Enquëa: He’s kind of half twilight, half not. All crap.
Lemenya: Unlike his rare version, this one sucks. To use his
ability you need to have initiative and have him survive to the regroup phase.
Nelya: Wow, you can sack a Ringwraith minion to give him +2
strength! Burn this card!
Nertëa: Aw nutsack. Here I was hoping for a good Nertea I can play
with in Standard, but I'm stuck with this piece of crap. Curse you,
Decipher!!!!!!
Ostëa: Again, what’s with this thinking that nine-strength Nazgul are
going to make it to the regroup phase? Need I say more?
Tom: Well, on with the rest of the set. Don’t count Nagul out just
because they got a bunch of crappy minion. Twilight Nazgul are becoming
very dangerous after this set. “Morgul Brute” adds a burden when you play
him or wound the Ringerbear (FP choice). Win/Win. “Stronghold of Minas
Morgul” is a condition that exhausts the Ringbearers, and the new Ring is a
joke! Let’s see if you have the grass ring and your opponent drops a
King and Fell Beast on you, you have the choice of taking five burdens or
losing your Ringbearer. And that’s not counting if he has Wraith-worlds
and such. That’s really bad Mojo.
Wow, Nazgul have Orcs now. Gees, who doesn’t have Orcs? Men, that’s
who, bur real men don’t need no Orcs. ORCS SU.......
Ken: Well that’s enough of that. Bear in mind that Tom’s opinion in
no way represents the views of this station.
Earl: Right, well now that we have finished Nazgul, on to Rohan. I've
seen some good, some bad, and this is how it goes. Start us off, Ken.
Ken: Well, the card that first jumps out boots you in the croch,
gouges out your eyes, sets you one fire, and after all that, slaps you in
the face for good measure is Dernhelm. Like, come on, +2 against
fierce and against mounted, come on, don’t Warg players have enough to
cry about? And either of Theoden’s personas are tip-top, not because of
their text but because they are seven three. Good stuff, good stuff...
Earl: and we musn’t forget both their new equipment. Éowyn’s sword
plays like a skirmish event and wounds people. No damage pluses but
that's what horses are for, and Herugrim - we’re talking another freekin'
king’s blade what I have damage plus one, two extra strength, a vitality...
Ken: and a freekin great skill. In my humble opinion, preventing
wounds is good. Then there is “Léowyn”.
Earl: WHAT!! Ken, have you been sniffing glue again? It’s not
Léowyn it’s “Déor”. Ally pump is good.
Ken: I was kidding, man. Léowyn is abysmally bad.
Earl: Swift stead, we give it two thumbs up.
Ken: OK Mr. Ebbert, but yes, I agree, better than Rider's Mount,
officially...
Earl: And you're making fun of me?
Ken: and Theoden’s horse “Snowmane” is, in my opinion, the only
overly-good unique horse.
Earl: Those bastards, sullying the good name of Firefoot. Is
nothing sacred?
Ken: Yeah, what’s up with that shizzle?
Earl: Now we are on Sauron. Wow, I mean, where do I start? Well,
I’ll start with Besiegers, the new hard-hitting part of Sauron.
Ken: But first a word from our sponsers...
Narrator: Do you suffer from crappy Dwarfs? Is there no end to
your unpleasant Dwarf decks? Well, get yourself some Preparation D and
be free and relieved for up to three expansions... and now back to the show.
Ken: Well, as Besiegers go they are a rather easy shadow. Site
control, site control, and um.. oh yea! site control...
Earl: and they accomplish this through awesome, multi-purpose,
conditions. Like the all star condition “Encirclement”. When I saw this
card I nearly creamed myself; if only it wasn’t unique. Well, anyway, you
get to make ALL your Sauron cards cheaper for every two sites you
control, and you can sack it to draw cards in the regroup phase. “Tower
Walkway” all Besiegers' strength plus one for each site you control, and
you can slag it and three Orcs to control a site and its big brother.
“Troop Tower” is the same as Tower Walkway but instead of per site it’s
per Orc stacked on site, and discard one instead of three Orcs.
Ken: Also, they get a freekin' awesome event called “Breached”. It is
this set’s Hate. For the low, low price of four threats and two Sauron
minions in the regroup phase, the Free Peoples have to throw one of their
Companions in the dead pile. Ouch. That’s hot.
Earl: Well, Sauron got quite a bit this set. The Besiegers are
pretty hard core. “Siegecraft” is pretty cool: if one of your Sauron
minions wins, they all become fierce.
Ken: Ya, Sauron got the shizel in this set. Well, on to the Hobbits.
Love those little men.
Earl: Riiiight. Strangely the best card in the culture is Pippin
with Merry as a close second. The teen-beat Pippin does two damage to any
roaming minion. Sweet. Merry can return any two Rohan possessions from the
discard pile. All you need to do to activate it is bounce the Hobbits back
to your hand. Simple and Sweet. The Frodo and Sam of this set isn’t
anything special, which is strange because usually they get the good
stuff. Ken?
Ken: Mmmmm, those little guys. Oh right, on to the big change that
affects players and that is the site path. So Earl, if you could take us
through the site path?
Earl: Not a problem. Here we go:
Site One: The first big thing is that you can’t download Companions
anymore and you can get hugely punished if you drop your hand at site
one.
Site Two: All of the second site do something nasty if the shadow
player has initiative.
Site Three: All of the sites have a mechanic that for adding
threats you get either draw a card, heal a Companion or make the move
limit +1.
Site Four: You can remove a Burden to make a minion +2 strength, or
remove two burdens to make a minion +1 damage, or remove three to add three
to the archery.
Site Five: You have two choices, the first one says discard your
hand or add two burdens, the second has you adding three threats.
Site Six: These sites encourage you to double-move past them. There
is a site for each culture (minus Hobbits) that when you move past you
get to heal them, and one that wounds everybody.
Site Seven: Site Sevens all have some funky ability that punishes
fellowship six or larger. Nothing harsh, just extra twilight, card drawing
or limiting the move limit.
Site Eight: Like the Dunland site last set, each shadow culture
gets something cool to play with ranging from drawing cards to playing
Nazgul for cheaper. The best one is Gollum’s which let’s you play him
from the discard pile to add two burdens!
Site Nine: Actually, unlike the previous blocks, these Site Nines
are quite tame. Nothing too harsh.
Ken: So, that's our look at Return of the King.
Earl: WAIT!! We didn’t do a top ten list!
Ken: Oops, my bad. Here we go:
10) Úlairë Toldëa, Wraith on Wings Free Nazgul are always good
9) Surging Up RBR don’t double-move all over you, Ya!
8) Arwen, Fair Elf Maiden Second only to Greenleaf
7) Breached The new Hate
6) Preparations Smoking deck manipulation
5) Éowyn, Dernhelm An ass-kicking Éowyn
4) Small Hope A solid burden engine
3) The Witch-king, Morgul King Just plain mean
2) Encirclement One of the scariest conditions ever
1) Gimli, Feared Axeman Single handily revitalized Dwarves
Earl: Well that’s all for today. Look for our Black Rider report.
Ken: See how we Albertans represented old school. Also remember
Kids, don’t be an undereducated Sportchek wank; reading is fundamental.
Team Five Iron
Peace.
Comments?
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