Everyone strives for moments of clarity. Moments when you suddenly are at peace with yourself. Moments when you discover a truth. For most people these moments are rare and fleeting, coming to themselves once every couple of years. I'm certain that some Tibetan monk out there has them like all the time... that he can't help but to live one long constant moment of clarity... but for us western devils, they are rare. For gamers, I think they never come.

        I had a moment of clarity the other day. Oddly, it was while I was playing a game of STCCG.  I looked across the table at a 40 year old-bald-fat-virgin who plays role playing games 6 nights out of the week and I stopped and examined my life, and the fact that here I was on a fine weekend afternoon. My moment of clarity certainly involved more self loathing than I had imagined it would. But there was another realization involved. I really hated most of the people I'm playing against.

        I don't use the word "hate" lightly either. That day I played games against a couple of spoiled brats, a pedophile, a pornographer and a republican. (Now, as I have played tourneys in 6 different cities in 5 different states/provinces and two different countries in the last month, no one will be able to figure out which place I'm referring to) I don't like or respect them. So why am I there?

        Do I only play the Star Trek:  Customizable Card Game as some sort of pathetic ego massage to prove that I am better than they? If so I really need to grow up. Maybe take up a real person's hobby, something mundane like gardening.

        The only problem is, that actually, through all the self loathing and all the dislike of this shiny-headed-git who sat across the table, I knew that I wouldn't give up the game. I actually like it a lot. Star Trek to me is a refined CCG.  There is luck, but there's also planning, strategy and tactics. More than Magic, the players have some redeeming qualities. Even the hasn't-ever-moved-out-of-his-parents-house-40-year-old whom I was playing at least knows the rudiments of hygiene, and is employable. I can't ever say that about any of the magic players.

        The spoiled brats can learn sportsmanship, as long as they see that the best players (such as myself) are leading by example, and if Dave Bowling (an amazing player, but an even more amazing guy--if you are ever fortunate enough to play him, cherish the experience--win or lose you will never meet a more enjoyable person to sit and play a game with, both in terms of strategy, sportsmanship and conversation) is any example maybe some of them will follow his lead.

        I realized that as I had pondered this, the game had ground to a halt and that everyone else was done their games. While I was off in my own little world, my opponent had set up an armada. The other players were watching, as I lost... but I lost with grace.

-Olav