I started Bob just after I finished The One Ring. Unfortunately, writer's block set in, and it took months to get it to where I was satisfied.


V. Secret Diary of Bob the Balrog

Day 1
Moped in Moria. Not really much else to do here. V. boring.

Day 4
Woke from nap to find Orcs stealing my bunny slippers. Made them serve me as punishment.

Day 6
Got call from Sauron. Says rival for new boyfriend coming my way, and I should keep an eye out for him.
Got v. mad and hung up when I suggested he come over. Then could be “eye out” himself.

Day 7
Wonder how long will take rival to come? I need a nap.

Day 12
Oh man, rival is pointy-hatted wizard who stuck me with the bill in the Second Age. Overgrown frog tried to coach me how to work it out, but was distracted by little hobbits. Blue-eyed one v. cute. Big human obviously into him. Other hobbit will kill him if he tries anything.

Day 15
Managed to get Gandalf away from hobbits long enough to try talking. Took him to top of mountain so would not be interrupted.

Day 16
Talks didn’t go well. Although think killing me was overreacting just a bit.


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