When I sent out the Balrog's diary, a friend suggested I do the Cave Troll next. I didn't plan to, but it happened..


The V. Secret Diary of Jimmy, Cave Troll of Moria

Day 1
Orcs moving in. Good. Haven’t had any company since Bob drove the Dwarves out. Bob still here, but haven’t spoken since he dumped me for pointy-hatted idiot. Laughed head off when idiot ran out on him.

Day 3
Stupid Orcs. Why can’t they get it through their heads that trolls do not like onion dip? Had to kill 6 of them today. Maybe not such good company after all. Miss Dwarves.

Day 10
Bob taking nap. Used time to replace his manly leather slippers with fuzzy bunny slippers. Wonder when will notice?

Day 14
Orcs woke Bob up. Bob furious. Even more furious when Orcs began laughing at slippers. Ha ha, they make him look silly.

Day 937
Rescued Diary from Bob. Stolen because of slipper trick. Bob decided he loves the slippers and hasn’t taken them off yet. Getting v. slimy. Orcs not improving on acquaintance, either. Wish could be Mountain Troll like cousins William, Bert, and Tom.

Day 944
Heard big commotion outside. Appears the old Watcher found something to do besides watch.
Why never thought of getting to know Watcher? Has to be better than blasted Orcs and moping Bob.

Day 947
Big battle. Orcs picked fight with the people that Watcher sent in. Wonder why? Dwarves made place so nice, although have changed considerably since left Moria. Some grew big, and others lost their beards. Blue-eyed beardless Dwarf v. cute.
Oh, blast, not pointy-hatted idiot.
Decided to fight to try to kill boyfriend-stealing wizard. Decided to hit on blue-eyed Dwarf, but other Dwarf tried to kill me with frying pan. Ended up skewering him instead. Elf and beardless dwarf killed me after knocked old-style Dwarf over. Wonder why so upset?


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